// Ex Umbra ad Lucem: Experiences During The Summer of 2011 //

Becoming a Son of Adam

June 22 (Midsummer)

only the fall of god would pay for the fall of man, said lucifer. absolute power justifies itself in absolute terms, replied god. / June 25th, 2011

Today I experienced laughter. The Sun (fire), The Wind, The Water, The Rocks (earth); and I like adam before (with) them. the ö is a section of eden that time forgot. The Totem is the sign. 

June 28th / 8:02

all ready to go to the ö. to become like adam in paradise.

kl 12:55 bathed in the manner of adam. looked for a stick to build a shelter with. decided to just use the stones. they call it ''all man's right''; as long as you do not disturb the nature.

15:17 the tarp and rocks ''rain shelter'' is an actual example of future primitive.

17:25 The ö is now deserted. i am now alone and free to become like adam in paradise. the afternoon is mystical, the sjön like a silver pond stretching out towards infinity. it is humid. looking forward to the stars at night..and the conjuration.

18:57 at the end of the day... i am  sunburnt from head to toe. ran like adam through the forest. bathed again. collected a vandring staff.

22:30 found a public bastun by the boat pier on the northwest side of the ö. got it as hot as a turkish bath. purged all the dead skin off. now i sit by the sea shore. it looks like an endless plain of liquid silver. still as a millpond. got to watch the mygga och knotter clouds... they hover.

June 29th

12:40 went looking for the dass. found a smoke. the hour of shadows.

managed to conjure. hiked back to the camp in the manner of adam. only one star in the firmament; perhaps Venus.

6:30 woke up with the bright sun and wind. the silver mild pond is gone, it was shattered by the waves. now there is a raging dark green-blue sea.

9:30 the fauna at the ö consists of insects, avians and reptiles. large ant colonies, mygga clouds, wasps, Sverige's storsta spindel species bor här; ducks, birds, and snakes (suggesing rodents). there are a number of micro organism colonies along the shore (living foam).

14:35 not sunburnt, more like sun toasted. as good as if i was in a greek or caribbean ö... to think that paradise was so close all this time. the water is cool and refreshing. looking forward to the bastu this evening.

16:14 went exploring for altenate bathing places. found a perfect rock formation near the path that leads to the main pier. tomorrow i stop there on my way home. the water has become calm again. green algae spores cover the waters near the beach. that explains the living foam. the micro organism colonies feed on the spores.

19:00 totem tarot: i asked what message the spirits of the totem had for me about my future. utilised the egyptian deck. ace of cups. the world. seven of chalices. the sjön is now amber green. millions of algae spores have been washed ashore.

June 30

0:27 met a man in the bastun named p. åke. we were as adam. he offered me beer, we basta och badar. he came on a fishing boat...bad luck to basta alone he said. he gave me a flash light to help me get back in the dark. he said he might be gone in two hours or four.

07:40 windstorm last night. had to adjust the stones to keep the tarp shelter in place. it worked like a charm. the waves where angry...but the wind kept the mygga clouds inland. i slept well. woke up to the sun. decamped. clouds in the firmament. the sunny weather streak is coming to an end. coffee and a cigarette for breakfast. beer hangover.

July 8th, 2011.  back home. rainstorm last night. after decamping yesterday met P. Åke. he asked me to go fishing with him on his boat. we went far out into the sjön. stayed out until the late afternoon. drank beers while we waited for the fish to catch. caught two perches. bathed naked in 81 meter deep waters. the feeling of Zero-G... we then zoomed to Lövnass. returned home at about 21 hrs. on the way in we raced past a sail boat.

July 9, 2011 Pride Day. Dancing Parade. Beautiful SUNNY July day. ''It's raining men''. MARIUS... (of all people)... Omen: A BLACK BIRD Eating Freedom Fries.

Per M. came by in the evening. We bathed by the båtbuss pier. He told me he is going on holiday to Rumania. afterwards we watched the film "Triangle''... new horror; about a version of hell where trying to ''break the pattern'' is part of the pattern.

Avici Naraka. 

July 11, 2011 Watched Jaccob's Ladder. ''The only thing that burns in hell is the part of you that will not let go of life; your memories and attachments...''

July 18th, 2011 Returned to Glada Ankan. Drank beers and danced. It was body to body. Home spun Electro-House.

July 27, 2011 Realised that consistent application of abstract principle is impossible due to the influence of chaos and relativity. This fact implies paradox for theology, ethics and politics.

p.s. July 28th / There is only chaos and perspective; all else is lies, misconception, or wishful thinking.

July 30th, 2011 "Private fest" i Glada Ankan på onsdag. It was an informal reunion of the Club Maricon and Restaurang K-7 crowd (the Karlstad gay-lesbian scene are a nomadic bunch; before Glada Ankan it was Harris on Wednesdays). Met a young man who offered me 100 grams of hash in exchange for helping him develop a business plan. Danced with the RFSL lesbians. Got tipsy on cheap Czech beer.

Yesterday (a very warm day) went on a hike to Räggårdsviken. 13.7 km both ways along Bonäsleden. Hiked it like Adam for about two km. Bathed. Olov came by with the business cards. He also let me borrow a bunch of DVD's. Looking forward to watching Svensk drama...

August 3rd, 2011 Just found out that Doña Elsa died of cancer on Friday. She passed away in her apartment in Skoghall. Don Pedro was at her side. Death seems to be in the air. A couple of days ago a lone gunman with a predilection for the politics of the far right massacred 93 people with a semiautomatic weapon somewhere outside Oslo...and the cloudy, rainy weather continues. 

Not a happy August so far.

August 5th, 2011 Anders A. from the hemgroup came by yesterday evening to watch films. We watched Leonardo Di Caprio's "Shutter Island''. A mind twister where the end is undefined. After the main event we stayed up for a couple of hours and discussed theology and chaos.

Anders argued that Jesus was aware that abstract principle cannot be perfectly applied due to the influence of chaos and relativity; ergo: grace. What matters is to aim for the achievement of principles, not their perfect application.

Realised that 93 plus one makes 94 and that 94 reduces to 13, the number of DEATH in the Tarot. 13 reduces itself to FOUR (the number of Michael the Archangel, Cain and Judas Iscariot). As predicted THE BLACK CAT showed up before DEATH made its appearance.

Not only can I summon DEATH, in its wake come to me the transfigured Akh's of those who have crossed the barrier between the eternal paradox of existence inside infinity (the time space multiverse) and the eternal cosmos of eternity. I have met Johnny. They now join the congragation of the hidden chapel. Johnny sought me, even though I was the one who conjured. Synchronicity.

Johnny is a descendant of Ynge. 

(...I was told that God wished for me to die...)

August 8th, 2011 Went for a midnight swim at the Båtbuss pier. A group of naked teenage boys where there skinny dipping. Dunking into the lake. A midnight bath during a warm summer night works wonders on insomnia. In the firmament the stars, noticed the seven heavenly powers.

p.s. spent most of the morning into the early afternoon at Kråkudden. Tanned and bathed in the manner of Adam. The sun was bright on a clear blue sky, it was a warm 26C.

August 11th, 2011 Returned to Hammarsudde today. Yesterday afternoon A. and A. came by to grill. It was nice to catch up with them. Showed them the photos from Vastra Långholmen.

p.s. Realised that Leon Trotsky was correct about one thing: It all boils down to Hunger, Sex and Death.

August 15th / Last night I dreamt of an encounter with the Utöya dead. A (female) voice: ''have you heard the news that america is dying ?''

9:00 Decided to just take my clothes off and jump into the water from the pier at Lövnäss, while waiting for the båtbuss. Perfect hiking weather. Javerön awaits.

12:48 made it to the first shelter just in time before the summer rain. hiked the trail nude for about 3km. bathed. the sky is cloudy but the air and the water are warm. a completely different nature experience compared to june...

16:32 got to the shelter past våstra bredviken and scouted the informal path to längviksudden. all just in time before the storm hit. as i write this the sjön rages, the warm wind howls as the waves hammer the rocks.

21:02 went for a night swim in the sjön. the storm is past, the humid air is warm. a moment of silver twilight.

p.s. the price of freedom is loneliness; the price of togetherness is bondage.

August 16th / 8:00 woke up to the sound of silence. the sky is cloudy but the sea is calm, the wind died out. it is surprinsingly warm. i am now all packed and ready to move on. the informal path to längviksudden breaks off from the marked path a few meters south of the wind shelter. all i have to do is follow the shore until i hit the southern tip of the ö.

12:07 spent the whole morning at längviksudden. the sun burst through the clouds at about nine, only a few minutes after i got here. bathed and tanned nude. this spot is truly magikal. a sliver of rocks on the edge of the deep forest. had to hike about 30 minutes off path before finding it. but it was well worth it. the water is warm and clear. (lots of ants)

13:08 hiked back to the windshelter at båckviken. short cut through the bike path. on the way met three other hikers. lost. showed them the way back to the pier. the weather has turned warm and humid. ''cloudy sunny''.

14:35 made it to the pier just in time to catch the 15:15 båtbuss. power hiked through the forest. the lost hikers made it allright. met them there. shared a smoke.




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(C) 2011, 2024.  Miguel Angel Torres. Manuel Mendoza. Jaime Varela. Nicolas Ponce, Emmanuel Goldstein.